life of haleigh

I haven’t been very honest with you guys. I think on social media I have been giving people the impression that I might be someone that I certainly am not. Hey, it’s ya girl, I wanna use this post as sort of a cross between a self-inflicted intervention/ group hug/Ted Talk. If you’re not ready for at least a little bit of cringe, click off now darlin. I have been really focused (and frankly, quite proud) of the small victories that I’ve had lately. Like I didn’t cry when I broke my finger, and I made myself dinner even though I reeealllyy didn’t feel like it. I got a job!! So I mean, yeah, there has been a lot of little things that have been going sooo well for me. But I’ve been keeping secrets, and I think it’s against my personal code of conduct to lie on this blog because this is how I connect with you guys. <<<3333 I’m gonna keep it real with you. Life has been kicking. My. Ass. Not even in big ways either, so it’s kind of hard to pinpoint what’s really going on...

I saw a ladybug today, and the last few days actually. It’s been living on my kitchen window ledge. In my family, maybe in yours too, I learned that ladybugs are good luck. So when I saw it, I was pleasantly excited for the luck that would happen in the next few days. A few days came, and passed. Nothing particularly lucky happened. In fact, I ended up spending the night in the emergency room, shattered my phone screen, got a parking ticket, and stained my new shirt. “Damn,” I thought, “when is that luck going to kick in?” A couple days later, ladybug still crawling on the window, I went to work. After walking inside I was greeted with a note from my boss with a little bit of cash to say I could get a cookie and a hot chocolate from the cafe across the street. AND as a bonus, we got to decorate for Christmas. Thanks, ladybug. Best day ever. Then I realized I forgot to pay for parking again. I waited anxiously to close so I could pull the ticket off my windshield. We ...

You will meet go-getters. The ones who are keen and optimistic. The ones who bounce into your life and radiate an electric sort of energy. You will be inspired by them. You will be swept away by these people. They teach you, they push you, they enlighten you. You will meet people who will leave you. These are the hardest people to meet. Because you will get to know them, open up your big, soft heart and let them make a home inside. You will cherish them and forgive them and they will leave. And no amount of pulling, or words, or love will make them stay.  You'll meet people who feel like home. And sunshine. And winter nights by the wood stove.  You will meet people who love you more than you love them. You’ll worry that you’re going to hurt them, and you might, but do not let that change your mind. There are some people who will walk into your life to show you how you should be loved. Cherish these people. You will miss them one day. You will meet soulmates. Not just...

Me: *has been 20 for a month* Also me: HOw to FiND youRsElF In YouR tWentiES Let’s get this out of the way. This is NOT a how-to. I am fully confident enough to tell you I have no idea what I’m doing. Cheers. You don’t need to be 20 to be confused about who you are. I feel like the only people on the earth who know who they are is like Kim Kardashian and D*nald Tr*mp.  People just don’t tell you what you actually need to know. So here I am, like slightly more aware than I was yesterday, and I’m gonna tell you some things I KNOW to be true as of now.  1. Heartache is...weirder than people tell you it is. There’s a lot of Pinterest quotes that romanticize the hell out of heartbreak but it’s not like that. It’s getting way too drunk at a party and feeling 10x worse than you ever did before. It’s “SCREW THEM” and “I miss them” in a span of ten minutes. It’s the space between being a free spirit, living your life, following your heart, and wondering if your heart is even ...

Nineteen was, and I'm sure of this, the hardest age of my life so far. Nineteen was the age of emotion. Pure, raw, rich, bizarre, emotion.  I felt so much that it was honestly overwhelming. There is no words that could properly explain the complete chaos that was my mind in this, the nineteenth year of my life.  Let me take you with me on the journey that was my nineteenth lap around the sun. fall: the storm and the badlands Eighteen days after my nineteenth birthday began my journey through my mental "badlands." This was when old me was swept away by an incredible storm, one I never saw coming, one I never ever wanted to be a part of. And when the physical storm was over, I was left lying on my back, looking up at a cloudy sky, wondering where I was and who I was and why everything felt sort of...wrong.  At the time, I didn't realize the detrimental effects that my time in the badlands would have on me. It was a weird time. I wasn't quite...

Like a botched haircut, or a bad day, you gotta let that shit GO. Hi, Haleigh here (guess who’s back, back again) I kinda waited to write this because it felt like there was never the right time. Well, it’s still not the right time, but uhh, I do what I want now so here goes nothing. I feel like one of the hardest things for me to do in life is let go of stuff. Physical things, like my old favourite shirt that for sure doesn’t fit anymore, or that book I’ll probably never read again, right down to all the yucky sad feelings I can’t seem to get rid of. I mean sure, you should let yourself feel, like process your emotions and gather your thoughts blah blah blah. But there comes a point where it’s like - why am I holding onto this?!?? It’s HEAVY. There’s a saying I love, written by an author I look up to. Three words: so it goes . I love it so much that I got it tattooed on my body (sorry mom I love you). It’s a simple reminder that this is life. And stuff happens. People are mean...

I find the easiest way for me to describe my point is through a story.... which, if you’ve been here a while, is common in almost everything I do. In my last year of high school, I decided to throw a party for me and all my girl friends. I was going to invite my “close” group, or the people I’ve known since, like, forever, and then I thought, why not just invite all the fun people I’ve wanted to get to know at the same time? Thank god I did. Because after I had went out after work and bought a bunch party supplies, decorations, snacks, set up the music, got everything ready, I got a text message that would eventually change my life forever, as little as it seems. I opened my phone to find that one of my best friends was going to have her own party. 3 hours before mine was set to start. I was doing my hair in my bedroom and my stomach sank to the floor. I felt so dumb. Why why why why would my friends do this to me???? Okay, I get it I HaVE sO MAny PrObleMs, but I was...

I spent a long time writing and rewriting this. Deleting the stories I wrote when my feelings were different.  For me, I’ve always had a rough definition of what it meant to be happy. Some days, it meant that all my friends came over and we swam in the lake and watched movies and laughed all night long. Other days it’s crawling in between my mom and dad in bed and watching the news as we all fall asleep. On my good days, happy means almost anything. It means getting told I’m doing a good job at work, or someone validating my purpose. It means wearing new shoes, getting ice cream after dinner, it means my parents had a good day at work, it means my sister is bringing her puppies over later. On bad days, happy seems to be a lot more of a distant, foreign term to me. It feels like a fruit growing at the top a tree just a little too high to reach. On those days, happy moments are few and far between, and they mean a lot more. Like I said before, I struggled about knowing...

To my mom on Mother’s Day, There’s a lot of days that I like to celebrate you. Your birthday, spoiling you on Christmas, when you got the promotion you wanted so badly. I like to think we do our best to celebrate you every day. Some days are different. Some days don’t feel like a celebration for you. But today, on top of all others, I want to take this time to say a few words of celebration, to honour the incredible woman you are. You are so many things. You are the strongest, most courageous woman in the world. You would walk to the ends of the earth for everyone you know. You would defend anyone’s honour. You have an amazing knack for making everyone in your life feel like the most important person to you. I don’t know if you know this, but dad tells me all the time how I “should try to be more like mom,” and to me, that means I should be more welcoming to people, let them in with open arms. I should always, ALWAYS find the good in someone. I should learn to cook l...