My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
I wish sixteen year old me would have told a few more people to go f*ck themselves. Honestly, I think a lot of us go through life thinking that kindness is the only way to get anywhere. Now listen, that’s not to say to be rude to everyone you meet, but there’s a place and time where it’s perfectly viable to tell someone what they need to hear. There’s a sort of plateau of kindness. A little bit goes a long way to someone who values you. But at a certain point, the curve kind of…flattens out. The less someone values you, the less it matters HOW nice you are, and becomes more about simply how much they like you. Reality check - some people are just never going to like you. And people think you owe them kindness simply because you just have always acted that way. Side note - being nice as collateral or so you have something to hold over their head in the future is not nice, its manipulative. Don't be a martyr. I think I'll talk about that more one day...but for now: I wish sixte...