My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
People who know me may say otherwise, but lately (as in the last year or so) I’ve been really good at coping. My new thing is, it is what it is. Honestly, terrible things happen (when you end up in the hospital with a blood clot in your lung, only to lose two jobs in the span of 1 month and then get a weeks notice to move your entire life back to a town you don’t like and on the way your car engine blows up), trust me, I know. But lately, I’ve just been letting it roll off my back. It’s not mine to carry. Can you do something about it? If the answer is yes, then you’re going to be okay. If the answer is no, then you’re going to be okay. This is what I mean, things happen. Anyways. With all this quarantine, I’ve had a lot, I mean we’ve all had a lot of time to think and reflect on things. I realized I miss the hell out of my friends. I miss getting dressed for a normal day. I miss sleeping on a regular schedule. But I realized one thing and I haven’t really felt ri...