My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
I have always been able to walk on my own path. In fact, I liked being the one doing my own thing. I was the kid who was usually doing something alone, in my room. Painting a picture, learning a song on the piano, singing to karaoke YouTube videos. I didn't mind being the kid who was a little different or a little weird. I never thought about where I was supposed to be at that point in life. I didn't care who liked me and who didn't. It wasn’t until adulthood, when life is all about being alone, that I really started to become insecure about almost everything. lovers The tiktok tarot card readers tells me you’re coming back. That you just needed a sec before we could be truly in love but I should wait for a text from you. I picked the flower petals all the way down and got “loves me not” but for some reason I felt like it was wrong. You don’t like my Instagram pictures anymore. There’s a new girl, I think her name starts with a J, and she’ll be the next me until someone els...