My dad died on Valentine’s Day from a cancer in his brain that he fought for a year and a half. I’ll talk about that more one day, but what I want to say now comes from the buildup and the fallout. What I want to say is not about the suffering and turmoil that I watched my dad and my family experience for that year and a half, or the milestones we hit every day that I never mentioned, like the last day he had ice cream or went outside. I want to talk about him and I will. But today, I want to talk about the aftermath. People don’t know what to say about death and dying. They tell you they’re sorry and they could never do what you’re doing, they tell you how strong you are and graceful you’re being, admire how you’re “back to work” or “still able to have fun”. Grievers are told time and time again, nobody knows what the right thing to say is. And we have grace. Giggle it off and nod our heads, tell them thank you and it’s okay. Because it is okay. They aren’t doing anything wrong t...
If you guys know me, you know that I’m exactly the opposite of a risk-taker. I am a safety first, planned schedule, organized life ADVOCATE. In every sense, I live my life in an extremely safe way. My dad used to say “do one thing a day that scares you.” For me that would mean, like, a spontaneous trip to the grocery store or making cookies at 9 at night. For me, that was big stuff. I don’t love to talk down on myself because I’m doing the best I can, but if there was one thing I would’ve changed about myself these last years, it would have been to allow myself to go with the flow. Just go with it. Tattoos When I was 18 I got my first tattoo. It reads, “so it goes”. It was the beginning of my bid to learn how to go with the changed in life, and adapt instead of run away. And tattoos as a whole were kind of a big deal for me because it was the first thing I did that was “spontaneous” as some might say. Anyways, I see it every day now and I aaaalways take a second to remi...