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Showing posts from November, 2019

Gemma

On the day I found out my dad had a year to live, I was standing at work, typing away stupidly about something I can’t remember now. And in an instant, I was catapulted into a terrible grief I knew nothing about. Like a dark room I’d never entered, feeling my way around.  Gemma called my boss, my colleagues, and my best friends. Ordering one to give me time off, to get coffee, and to buy moving boxes.  In the apartment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Gemma found my passport, called my sister and arranged a pick up, and booked my flight for the next morning. Early but not too early, because she said I needed sleep. How do I even begin to pack right now? Gemma told everyone what to do. She put on my favourite songs, Taylor Swift, whom she didn’t particularly care for, and made the executive decision to toss my near-empty shampoo bottles.  We walked through a handful of outfits I’d need - certainly comfy ones - as Gemma proposed. And when I’d come back to collect my t...

I'm not who I said I was

I haven’t been very honest with you guys. I think on social media I have been giving people the impression that I might be someone that I certainly am not. Hey, it’s ya girl, I wanna use this post as sort of a cross between a self-inflicted intervention/ group hug/Ted Talk. If you’re not ready for at least a little bit of cringe, click off now darlin. I have been really focused (and frankly, quite proud) of the small victories that I’ve had lately. Like I didn’t cry when I broke my finger, and I made myself dinner even though I reeealllyy didn’t feel like it. I got a job!! So I mean, yeah, there has been a lot of little things that have been going sooo well for me. But I’ve been keeping secrets, and I think it’s against my personal code of conduct to lie on this blog because this is how I connect with you guys. <<<3333 I’m gonna keep it real with you. Life has been kicking. My. Ass. Not even in big ways either, so it’s kind of hard to pinpoint what’s really going on...

I saw a ladybug and it changed my life

I saw a ladybug today, and the last few days actually. It’s been living on my kitchen window ledge. In my family, maybe in yours too, I learned that ladybugs are good luck. So when I saw it, I was pleasantly excited for the luck that would happen in the next few days. A few days came, and passed. Nothing particularly lucky happened. In fact, I ended up spending the night in the emergency room, shattered my phone screen, got a parking ticket, and stained my new shirt. “Damn,” I thought, “when is that luck going to kick in?” A couple days later, ladybug still crawling on the window, I went to work. After walking inside I was greeted with a note from my boss with a little bit of cash to say I could get a cookie and a hot chocolate from the cafe across the street. AND as a bonus, we got to decorate for Christmas. Thanks, ladybug. Best day ever. Then I realized I forgot to pay for parking again. I waited anxiously to close so I could pull the ticket off my windshield. We ...

the people you'll meet

You will meet go-getters. The ones who are keen and optimistic. The ones who bounce into your life and radiate an electric sort of energy. You will be inspired by them. You will be swept away by these people. They teach you, they push you, they enlighten you. You will meet people who will leave you. These are the hardest people to meet. Because you will get to know them, open up your big, soft heart and let them make a home inside. You will cherish them and forgive them and they will leave. And no amount of pulling, or words, or love will make them stay.  You'll meet people who feel like home. And sunshine. And winter nights by the wood stove.  You will meet people who love you more than you love them. You’ll worry that you’re going to hurt them, and you might, but do not let that change your mind. There are some people who will walk into your life to show you how you should be loved. Cherish these people. You will miss them one day. You will meet soulmates. Not just...

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