They put the tea on because they know you’re on your way. You grab your jacket, I wait by the door. Before you go, can you show me where I look to turn the breaker back on if we run the blow dryers at the same time again? And quickly show me where we keep the lightbulbs? Does this picture frame need a screw or will a nail do? Do you think if I move the clothes out of it you could take my old dresser out of the closet? You don’t have time for all this but I continue; When is it time to change my tires? How do I make sure the hoses won’t freeze up in the winter? What if the bank calls and tells me I can increase my credit limit, should I do it? Can you quickly explain to me why the democrats want to get rid of fracking? And also what is fracking? Do you think I’m on the right career path? Should I be investing part of my paycheque? What is that noise coming from the furnace? Can you check it out I can’t sleep if it’s clicking all night? You sit patiently with me, I know you have to ...
Hey friends, I am happy to be the first guest on Haleigh’s blog – I can’t top her btw.
I want to talk about insecurities – the epitome to my human existence.
When you look up insecurities the definition is “uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; the lack of confidence.”
Similar: lack of confidence, lack of self-confidence, self-conscious, uncertain, timid, shy, self-doubt, diffidence, antsy, edgy, troubled, nervous, uneasy, upset, uptight, and worried.
I would not want those words to be the first thing someone considers when they think of me, yet the lack of security in myself and my ideas, lingers.
I remember the day that my ‘insecurities’ became apparent. It was bus ride home from school in 6th grade when a boy commented on the way I looked.
I let his words define me for a large portion of my teenage years.
The pre-existing idea of how I should look and act, followed me everywhere.
As I got older, I thought there must be other ways to describe me.
Instead of letting google, and the boy on the bus decide how I see myself, I decided to ask my friends to come up with words to describe me.
Shockingly, and quickly they flooded me with these words; genuine, reliable, hilarious, beautiful, independent, selfless, honest, BRUTALLY honest, “my queen”, slim thicc baddie, infectiously funny, strong, undeniably yourself, family, original, easy to love, perceptive, home, observant, brave, and even a rap sensation (jay was high when I asked her).
I am not a psychopath. Of course, I cried receiving this flow of love.
“You’re so easy to love – if that isn’t the truest thing about Shelby.”
I always knew my friends seen me in some other light, must be some pretty good lighting.
I just never could imagine that this is how they perceived ME. The antsy, worried, ball of self-doubt that I thought I was.
Loving who you are doesn’t come easily, or fast. Over the last couple of years, I have woken up every morning with a little more self-reassuring-love.
And if I can preach anything, I will preach that looking in the mirror is not always a simple task. If you open your mind to possibility that you are not all that bad, good things will flood in. Fuck the boy on the bus. And fuck google.
Tomorrow, when I look in the mirror to see my own beady blue eyes staring back at me, I will consider myself as; genuine, reliable, hilarious, beautiful, independent, selfless, honest, BRUTALLY honest, a queen, slim thicc baddie, infectiously funny, strong, undeniably yourself, family, original, easy to love, perceptive, home, observant, brave, and even a rap sensation.
And next time I find myself feeling insecure, I will remember that it doesn’t define me.
P.S. I love my friends so much.
I want to talk about insecurities – the epitome to my human existence.
When you look up insecurities the definition is “uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; the lack of confidence.”
Similar: lack of confidence, lack of self-confidence, self-conscious, uncertain, timid, shy, self-doubt, diffidence, antsy, edgy, troubled, nervous, uneasy, upset, uptight, and worried.
I would not want those words to be the first thing someone considers when they think of me, yet the lack of security in myself and my ideas, lingers.
I remember the day that my ‘insecurities’ became apparent. It was bus ride home from school in 6th grade when a boy commented on the way I looked.
I let his words define me for a large portion of my teenage years.
The pre-existing idea of how I should look and act, followed me everywhere.
As I got older, I thought there must be other ways to describe me.
Instead of letting google, and the boy on the bus decide how I see myself, I decided to ask my friends to come up with words to describe me.
Shockingly, and quickly they flooded me with these words; genuine, reliable, hilarious, beautiful, independent, selfless, honest, BRUTALLY honest, “my queen”, slim thicc baddie, infectiously funny, strong, undeniably yourself, family, original, easy to love, perceptive, home, observant, brave, and even a rap sensation (jay was high when I asked her).
I am not a psychopath. Of course, I cried receiving this flow of love.
“You’re so easy to love – if that isn’t the truest thing about Shelby.”
I always knew my friends seen me in some other light, must be some pretty good lighting.
I just never could imagine that this is how they perceived ME. The antsy, worried, ball of self-doubt that I thought I was.
Loving who you are doesn’t come easily, or fast. Over the last couple of years, I have woken up every morning with a little more self-reassuring-love.
And if I can preach anything, I will preach that looking in the mirror is not always a simple task. If you open your mind to possibility that you are not all that bad, good things will flood in. Fuck the boy on the bus. And fuck google.
Tomorrow, when I look in the mirror to see my own beady blue eyes staring back at me, I will consider myself as; genuine, reliable, hilarious, beautiful, independent, selfless, honest, BRUTALLY honest, a queen, slim thicc baddie, infectiously funny, strong, undeniably yourself, family, original, easy to love, perceptive, home, observant, brave, and even a rap sensation.
And next time I find myself feeling insecure, I will remember that it doesn’t define me.
P.S. I love my friends so much.
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