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Showing posts from August, 2024

on grief

They put the tea on because they know you’re on your way. You grab your jacket, I wait by the door. Before you go, can you show me where I look to turn the breaker back on if we run the blow dryers at the same time again? And quickly show me where we keep the lightbulbs? Does this picture frame need a screw or will a nail do? Do you think if I move the clothes out of it you could take my old dresser out of the closet? You don’t have time for all this but I continue; When is it time to change my tires? How do I make sure the hoses won’t freeze up in the winter? What if the bank calls and tells me I can increase my credit limit, should I do it? Can you quickly explain to me why the democrats want to get rid of fracking? And also what is fracking? Do you think I’m on the right career path? Should I be investing part of my paycheque? What is that noise coming from the furnace? Can you check it out I can’t sleep if it’s clicking all night?  You sit patiently with me, I know you have to ...

the words you speak become the house you live in

I sometimes wonder if she knows I heard she’d said this about me. It’s remarkable how someone I don’t think twice about can find something like this to say about me. Point 1:  “nothing to be depressed about” You should always leave your hometown - doesn’t have to be forever. The reason being: you will never outgrow the reputation you gave yourself as a shitty high school teenager with some (probably undiagnosed) serious depression and attitude problems.  Because truly, I think then, maybe I didn’t have anything to be depressed about. It’s subjective I guess, it feels bigger when you’re in it. At that time I think my major problem was outgrowing a big relationship in my life and a car accident that accidentally traumatized me for several years. I get that this is normal people stuff now. But I didn’t then. And it rocked me. It’s the whole reason I started writing this blog in the first place! I also think back then I might’ve had a lot of bad things to say at that time too. It’...

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