On the day I found out my dad had a year to live, I was standing at work, typing away stupidly about something I can’t remember now. And in an instant, I was catapulted into a terrible grief I knew nothing about. Like a dark room I’d never entered, feeling my way around. Gemma called my boss, my colleagues, and my best friends. Ordering one to give me time off, to get coffee, and to buy moving boxes. In the apartment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Gemma found my passport, called my sister and arranged a pick up, and booked my flight for the next morning. Early but not too early, because she said I needed sleep. How do I even begin to pack right now? Gemma told everyone what to do. She put on my favourite songs, Taylor Swift, whom she didn’t particularly care for, and made the executive decision to toss my near-empty shampoo bottles. We walked through a handful of outfits I’d need - certainly comfy ones - as Gemma proposed. And when I’d come back to collect my t...
I have always been able to walk on my own path. In fact, I liked being the one doing my own thing. I was the kid who was usually doing something alone, in my room. Painting a picture, learning a song on the piano, singing to karaoke YouTube videos. I didn't mind being the kid who was a little different or a little weird. I never thought about where I was supposed to be at that point in life. I didn't care who liked me and who didn't. It wasn’t until adulthood, when life is all about being alone, that I really started to become insecure about almost everything. lovers The tiktok tarot card readers tells me you’re coming back. That you just needed a sec before we could be truly in love but I should wait for a text from you. I picked the flower petals all the way down and got “loves me not” but for some reason I felt like it was wrong. You don’t like my Instagram pictures anymore. There’s a new girl, I think her name starts with a J, and she’ll be the next me until someone els...