On the day I found out my dad had a year to live, I was standing at work, typing away stupidly about something I can’t remember now. And in an instant, I was catapulted into a terrible grief I knew nothing about. Like a dark room I’d never entered, feeling my way around. Gemma called my boss, my colleagues, and my best friends. Ordering one to give me time off, to get coffee, and to buy moving boxes. In the apartment, I couldn’t even remember my own name. Gemma found my passport, called my sister and arranged a pick up, and booked my flight for the next morning. Early but not too early, because she said I needed sleep. How do I even begin to pack right now? Gemma told everyone what to do. She put on my favourite songs, Taylor Swift, whom she didn’t particularly care for, and made the executive decision to toss my near-empty shampoo bottles. We walked through a handful of outfits I’d need - certainly comfy ones - as Gemma proposed. And when I’d come back to collect my t...
If you guys know me, you know that I’m exactly the opposite of a risk-taker. I am a safety first, planned schedule, organized life ADVOCATE. In every sense, I live my life in an extremely safe way. My dad used to say “do one thing a day that scares you.” For me that would mean, like, a spontaneous trip to the grocery store or making cookies at 9 at night. For me, that was big stuff. I don’t love to talk down on myself because I’m doing the best I can, but if there was one thing I would’ve changed about myself these last years, it would have been to allow myself to go with the flow. Just go with it. Tattoos When I was 18 I got my first tattoo. It reads, “so it goes”. It was the beginning of my bid to learn how to go with the changed in life, and adapt instead of run away. And tattoos as a whole were kind of a big deal for me because it was the first thing I did that was “spontaneous” as some might say. Anyways, I see it every day now and I aaaalways take a second to remi...