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Showing posts from March, 2019

on grief

They put the tea on because they know you’re on your way. You grab your jacket, I wait by the door. Before you go, can you show me where I look to turn the breaker back on if we run the blow dryers at the same time again? And quickly show me where we keep the lightbulbs? Does this picture frame need a screw or will a nail do? Do you think if I move the clothes out of it you could take my old dresser out of the closet? You don’t have time for all this but I continue; When is it time to change my tires? How do I make sure the hoses won’t freeze up in the winter? What if the bank calls and tells me I can increase my credit limit, should I do it? Can you quickly explain to me why the democrats want to get rid of fracking? And also what is fracking? Do you think I’m on the right career path? Should I be investing part of my paycheque? What is that noise coming from the furnace? Can you check it out I can’t sleep if it’s clicking all night?  You sit patiently with me, I know you have to ...

everything you know about spaghetti is a lie

My entire life, I have been SO scared of eating. That’s just the way it’s been. I was so scared of getting fat (again, because little baby me “came out like a ten pound killer chicken” as my family refers lol). But I remember offering to let someone borrow my shirt, and they responded “no way your clothes are way too big for me.” And I felt stupid being the only kid who wanted seconds. I would go to bed thinking about what I wanted for breakfast and just be mad that I couldn’t think about anything else. But when I finally started getting taller and my belly started slimming out I felt proud, of all things. And I was surrounded by people who told me I should be proud. Later in life still, I got scared all over again. I always knew about the freshman 15 lbs. My sister went to university first and that’s pretty much all she talked about, how she was scared of gaining weight. I began to think there wasn’t anything else she was learning about in school. So when I came to univ...

how to deal with internet trends

Today in class when I should have been paying attention (I’m sorry it’s just that I can’t listen to another rendition of the importance of geographical plotting), I was scrolling through Amazon wondering which camera I was going to buy to start my YouTube channel. That’s right. I said it. She started a blog and now she’s gonna start a YouTube channel. Hi, millennials, how are ya?! I turned the brightness down on my screen because I was like “I swear to god if anyone sees what I’m looking for I’m gonna end up as the next viral twitter photo captioned “how to be a white girl: step 3.” I get it okay. All I do is talk about puppies and love and the Kardashians and how I want to “travel one day just to get away” and how I love babies and spaghetti and everything. Yes I own Jordan’s and a fuzzy coat (two of them, of course), I am obsessed with LUSH and makeup, I watch Friends on Netflix religiously, I tweet about useless nonsense, I am the epitome of everything everyone thinks is wron...

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